Well, bondage is many things. I find that if I’m the one being tied, I can abandon all responsibility, I don’t have to think about what I do since I don’t have to do anything, so I can just feel. Also, as I loose all control, there’s a certain tangle of fear, as I don’t know what the other will do and can do. Even though I would never agree to get tied by someone I don’t trust, it’s still exciting not to know what the partner’s dirty brain can come up with…

But when I do the tying up…the naughty switch gets turned on and I get washed over by a great feeling of power. I can have it my way and there’s a little something of the man being the object of pleasure that adds a cool little twist. Although sometimes it’s actually about just pleasing the other one, without thinking about myself. Contradictory, I know, but how boring would it be without the contradictions, eh? I know the roles are usually predefined, but you can also think outside the BDSM box ;)

So anyway, I think the first thing, if you are thinking about trying bondage, is not to worry about inexperience; you don’t need to be Midori to earn the right to tie someone up. If you know how to tie your own shoes, you are already on the way. Expensive gear can be interesting but is in no way necessary. You can tie someone with a bed sheet, shoelaces, a scarf or even underwear. If you want to go the hardware way, you can buy electrical wires, chains, locks or plain rope.

If your first experience is not as good as you expected, it shouldn’t stop you from trying again. Sometimes stress or things you hadn’t planned for (like loosing handcuff keys…) can make the experience seem like less then thrilling. But as time goes by and experience starts to build, you might enjoy it more and more. But if you really hated it, it doesn’t mean you have to try again just for the sake of doing it..duh.

Now, on the safe side. Pretty much in any place where you might read about bondage, one of the first thing enforced is that it should ALWAYS be done with someone you trust. Establish both parties’ limits before hand; use a safe word if necessary. There might be things you are not comfortable doing or lines not to be crossed and these things have to be talked about right from the start because your partner won’t be able to guess them. And once you are tied up and gagged, it’s a tad too late. Also, before going full gear on someone, make sure you know him or her enough. Anatomically not everyone is made the same, and a certain pressure on some people might be enjoyable, while on others it might be painful and lead to injuries. And now, don’t go rolling your eyes; I’m saying this very seriously. I’ve heard some nasty stories that ended up with a person being paralysed. So go slowly.